jump and relax

When I jumped,
I faced the world head on, not the way you said I should.
I never listened when you begged me to stop, I couldn't help myself.
I needed you to stand next to me, fight my fights, hold my hand, let me rest.
It never happened. It never was going to happen.
The world was over shadowed by haunting memories and death plagued dreams.
I reached out but only got a cold shoulder in return.
There was no escape, It never ended.
Just got worse.
I wanted so bad to just leave everything behind, let the world swallow me up.
Turn me invisible.
To be a ghost would be better than this.
I'm sorry That's all I can think to say
I tried my best after all. People use to tell me that you can only try your best.
they never told me what to do if my best wasn't good enough.
Could I do anything differently? As I look back I guess I could have.
Hidden from the world, wrap myself up in happy thoughts and skip down the street like they wanted me to.
You told me that's what I should do.
I never listen.
Extreme.
That's what I wanted, something everyone would gasp at.
Send shock through the nations.
leaving people wishing that they could have done something differently.
Helped me.
when I jumped I left a world of disgrace behind.
I also left guilt, pain, depression and death.
I didn't mean to, I swear I didn't
but I didn't know
didn't know what pulling out of life could do to the world you leave behind.
I could have done something differently..... yeah
Not jumped.