Christmas holidays are here and you know what that means!! Alcohol, party's and sex! yes that's right the teens of our society are doing that at this very moment. So if every second a baby is born, in every two seconds a drunk student throws up. Merry Fucking Christmas! But for some people Christmas holidays can be seen as more of a depressing time. With all these late night party's going on, at least one person is going to feel the full wrath of other peoples Christmas spirits. 'But how can Christmas be bad!' I hear you cry. You want an example of how Christmas can be bad! then sit back, grab a mince pie and let me tell you a story of when a good Christmas goes bad!...
Once upon a time there was a handsome young collage student called Tristan. He wasn't feeling in the Christmas mood at all and he was going through difficult times. Not even the thought of making ginger bread houses with his brother seemed to put a smile on his face. His friends noticed that he was down and decided why not have a party! Tristan was of course very happy, one because he knew he was going to get totally wasted and second because he hadn't been to on in over two days!
So that frosty Christmas holiday night the gang set off on their adventures. Everything was going great. There was alcohol, everyone was laughing and Tristan was happy. The gang decided to go back to one of the other peoples houses as the mother of the boys house they were at had started getting edgy about having 5 drunk and rowdy male students, and 4 innocent young girls in her house, and she couldn't sleep because of the sound of one member of the gang throwing up all the time.
So the adventure continued. Down the street, past the spar and up the road to one of the girls houses. Although Tristan was having fun, singing drunk versions of I whip my hair in the middle of town, something had started to change. It seemed like one of the guys had started ignoring him and by the time they had got to the second house and were having more drink, nearly all of them had stopped noticing he was there. Very soon Tristan was reduced to sitting in a corner as the others talked on about past memories and excluded him from all conversation.
Of course Tristan was getting pretty fed up with all this and he found himself drifting back into the arms of depression. He plucked up some courage and spoke up. Making a witty and very funny joke about a statement one of the girls had said but as if like they were to stupid to understand they looked at him with eye brows raised. To save him self from loneliness he decided to text someone and found his fingers texting to his ex. He got up and walked out the room. They gang were so wrapped up in their own little world they didn't even see him leave the room.
Once he was on his own, he started to get worried. Hoping that they would come in and welcome him back but no luck. After a half hour of texting and switching between rooms, he rang his ex. He told her the whole story of his Christmas nightmare and how he wished it would end. Of course she tried to cheer him up and make him smile his cute smile, which she missed so much. Although he was drunk and she was extremely tired and talked no sense he found himself feeling slightly happier. After an hour or two on the phone he bid her Goodnight and rejoined the gang.
When he walked back in he found that they had all passed out naked on the floor. He threw up when he saw how disgusting their bodies were, he wondered how any parent could possibly live with a child that was that messed up on the outside and inside. He couldn't even tell which were the girls and which were guys. Tristan really wanted to go home but instead he curled up under a bed as far away as possible from the pile of naked bodies and went to sleep.
In the morning he got out the house as soon as he could and ran away to the bus stop, for a quick get away. Once he was home, he though he could forget about his horrific night and just relax. He had a nice hot bath to rid of the stench of last night. After his bath he smelt amazing, just like he usually does and he decided to go on the laptop.
The minute he logged on to Facebook he was met by a million messages from his so called 'friends'. These messaged consisted of lies and abuse. One of the girls started talking to him on msn and started making up lies of how he had called them cunts. Well Tristan was outraged! He had not only not called them cunts but he also had a witness to this, his ex who he had been on the phone to! The lies didn't stop there but the sluttiest girl called him a prick for calling them cunts and that they hadn't been ignoring him. Tristan fought back with sharp witted come backs and the power of the truth, but it was impossible for one guy to take on an army of sluts and fags no matter now amazing he is.
The day slowly faded and so did the cleverness of Tristan's 'friends' arguments. They repeated the same thing against his many valid arguments and called him childish for standing up for himself. Tristan decided enough was enough so he told them to fuck off. They all had turned their backs on him so why the hell shouldn't he turn his back on them!
This situation made something rise within him and claw at his insides. He started to wish he was dead....
This is prime example of how Christmas can go bad but! at Christmas there is 'magic' in the air and with it it brings hope. No one is allowed to feel sad on Christmas! Its a rule that Santa himself made up and with it he hired ninjas to spread the Christmas spirit.
Tristan was just about to turn the laptop off and give up all hope when suddenly he got a message from a ninja! who was in fact his ex! Tristan decided to stay on a little longer to see what she had to say. When he told her he wanted to die, her ninja powers took action and she first tried to make him laugh but this didn't work... She went through every happiness procedure in the Christmas ninja guide book but nothing seemed to work. so tired and frustrated she took off her ninja mask and spoke from her true self. And what do you know, it worked!
She used her Ninja powers to find him some new friends for collage and showered him in a hundred billion Internets. And very soon he was making a ginger bread house with his brother. Now that's what I call a very merry Christmas.
Tristan is actually the most amazing person you could ever meet! These people in the story are total pricks that don't know what perfect is even if he's sat drinking with them. You can't be sad at Christmas and sluts and fags are nothing to get upset over. And in the words of Bob Marley, every little thing is gonna be alright.
And as our story concludes the fitting end to such a tale can only be!...
'They all lived happily ever after and Tristan was the winnrar!
PandaPooh
xXx
dark angles, stupid posts, words to touch the soul and me Little Pandaa
Thursday, 23 December 2010
Tuesday, 21 December 2010
Weeping Willow
The sun gently touched the hard ground, giving it a loving golden glow. The snow that had fallen in the cold night had wrapped the world in its icy grasp and frozen the heart of the world into a faded beat. Trees slept naked and cold under white blankets. Frozen tear drops clung to the weeping street lamps, who silently begged for the night to return. Confused birds started helplessly at frozen lakes, claimed by the weathers icy wrath. The sun rise bathed the sky in deep pinks and red. The backdrop for a lone figure standing by a dying tree, clutching a bunch of wilted yellow flowers. In his heart he knew it was over and just like the trees drop their leaves he must drop her from his heart. He leaned against the rough skin of the tree, feeling it groan under his weight. How could forget her skin on his? her warmth next to him? the way he loved her? The list went on taking away more hope as it went. As far as he could see there was no light waiting for him. Nothing to revive his broken heart. No hope left. Only a bittersweet existence trapped in a life he no longer wanted.
This young body was ready to rest. To lie in the frozen earth, hidden from the living. The aching grew in his bones and made him fall to his knees before the tree. The cold setting in his blood and winding its way to his shattered heart. He wanted to scream for help but saw no point. He welcomed death as he fell into its cloaked arms. His body fading into the dirt. Silent once more.
The sun rose into the sky, scattering glitter on the snowy ground and making beads of sweat appear on snowmen faces. The world was now awake. A couple slowly walked through the glistening snow, holding hands and gently bumping into each other now and then. They stopped by the tree, staring at the small faded golden plaque nailed into its think skin. The man read aloud 'The lone lover who lost his love to another, rests under this tree' The woman when as white as the snow and pulled him on. 'Lets go' she whispered 'Its freezing out here' The man took on last look at the tree and slowly walked on.
Twilight fell onto the land, hiding the sun for the night. A light wind picked up and a gentle dusting of snow drifted from the dimming sky. A dying tree stood alone. A golden plaque nailed through its heart, encrypted with its soul and a bunch of wilted yellow flowers hung from its arms. lightly swaying in the wind.
PandaPooh
xXx
This young body was ready to rest. To lie in the frozen earth, hidden from the living. The aching grew in his bones and made him fall to his knees before the tree. The cold setting in his blood and winding its way to his shattered heart. He wanted to scream for help but saw no point. He welcomed death as he fell into its cloaked arms. His body fading into the dirt. Silent once more.
The sun rose into the sky, scattering glitter on the snowy ground and making beads of sweat appear on snowmen faces. The world was now awake. A couple slowly walked through the glistening snow, holding hands and gently bumping into each other now and then. They stopped by the tree, staring at the small faded golden plaque nailed into its think skin. The man read aloud 'The lone lover who lost his love to another, rests under this tree' The woman when as white as the snow and pulled him on. 'Lets go' she whispered 'Its freezing out here' The man took on last look at the tree and slowly walked on.
Twilight fell onto the land, hiding the sun for the night. A light wind picked up and a gentle dusting of snow drifted from the dimming sky. A dying tree stood alone. A golden plaque nailed through its heart, encrypted with its soul and a bunch of wilted yellow flowers hung from its arms. lightly swaying in the wind.
PandaPooh
xXx
Friday, 3 December 2010
Condemned by law?
I now this doesn't follow my usual pattern of random stories and poems but It just has to be said! I'm afraid if your reading this you are going to be subject to one of my rants. And the even worse thing is that this rant is about the Government! Sorry once again but I can't stand for this injustice!
I am sickened to keep hearing this news of the utter betrayal of Nick Clegg against the young generation. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! This man before he came into power promised that university fees would not go up. Its clear to see that Nick Clegg is but a lap dog of David Cameron now, as he agreed to the uni fees increasing to a staggering height.
I hoped that after the recent violent rioting he would see sense and disagree, keeping his pre-election promises, but none prevailed. seeming almost blinded by power he shook off the shouts of 'Judus' from outside his window and carried on pushing the knife into the pockets of young adults. taking back what you say could be seen as weakness but in this case I'm sure many people would see it as a light in this darkness. If Clegg took back his agreement, sure it wouldn't just be that everyone loved him again. People will hate him but not as much as they hate him now. He could be know as the guy that held further education over the cliff, or the guy that threw further education into the murky waters never to be seen again for most un-rich hard working adolescents.
It seems to me that is so called 'coalition' government is just all the same now! Nick Clegg has become on of them, you can paint it anyway but its all just Tory in that place now. Its almost as if the government is part of a horror movie where of course David Cameron would be the psychotic deranged ring leader of the horrors and Clegg mealy a pet, a monster of Cameron's making. But this film wouldn't scare the young children in the audience but the young adults with empty pockets.
Its not just this stupidly pointless university fee's thing that's annoying me. Its the whole friggin' system! Its unjust and is making the rich richer and the poor poorer. The young adults we need to replace the people of an older generation are going to be in debt right after uni! Its your own doing if your sick and need a qualified doctor because there won't be any! and it serves you right for doing all of this. Your killing the country, bringing it to its knees and slicing its neck open. Letting its raging stream of cash flow into your open arms.
I hear now that EMA is being cut! why? tell me that! is the future generation that unimportant that your cutting survival off for them? We need that money! how are people doing collage courses going to earn money when they have no time for a job? Its not like they can ask for money from their parents who don't earn a thing but benefits! You say that you know what your doing is for the best, but your lying! How can you stand there in your posh houses with wads of cash piled high and tell me, you know what were going through! Your not the one who has to survive on on less than £90 a week. whats the answer? Starve to death? Oh yes if you don't eat for the next three years you might just be able to pay half of your uni fees. You know what! Fuck you! I'm not going to stand here and watch you kill us all! You know NOTHING! about the way most of your country live all you see is rich people and disposable lives! I may be be poor and you would probably say stupid as well but you know what! I can't be that stupid because I can see that your running this country into the ground!
Ohhh and that reminds me about this thing about school education changing. Are you serious? are you actually joking me? Giving kids one huge test instead of small ones is a fucking ridiculous idea! No one can learn all of the GCSE syllabus for one exam it's impossible! Its bad enough that the rules of the English GCSE has changed but this would kill you exam results once and for all. The reason your doing this is because GCSE results aren't up to scratch, you said. Do you really think that one massively long exam with all the work for two years crammed into it is going to give you better results than separate exams for separate sections of the syllabus? If your answer to that is yes then I recommend you go back to school and try that for your self.
This government makes me sick! I reckon most people could do a better job than you and most of those people would POOR PEOPLE! you know just because someone doesn't have that much money doesn't mean there not smart. I recommend you go see some of the people's lives your going to destroy before you take the final blow of upping fees, cutting EMA and totally obliterating education for future generations. You might just see that some of the people you have condemned actually would do well in life if you gave them a chance.
anyways I've wasted enough breath about this issue. Heed my words carefully or face the whole country's uproar. I definitely wouldn't be one of the people sticking up for you. if you make the bed then you lie in it. Finally Nick Clegg your not in control no matter what he told you, you have about as much power as a sheep in a wolf's mouth, I'm afraid its too late to save your self now, but please don't make us pay for your mistakes. David Cameron. In plain I hate you. I think your a vile, unpleasant man who needs to learn about the modern age. If I ever had the unfortunately to meet you, I just could not refrain from slapping your disgusting face. I would hope it might give you a bit of sense, as its clear you don't have any of that at the moment. As for the people who are fighting against the government I raise my hat to you, don't give up what your fighting for. Fight for yourselves, the ones to scared to fight, fight for every injustice that they will bring down upon us, and fight for the children that are yet to enter this unfair world and feel its fire burn them. we shall yet be pushed aside for them to clam our money and lives. stand tall and hate, and do what you will with your hatred. They deserve what they get!
I am sickened to keep hearing this news of the utter betrayal of Nick Clegg against the young generation. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! This man before he came into power promised that university fees would not go up. Its clear to see that Nick Clegg is but a lap dog of David Cameron now, as he agreed to the uni fees increasing to a staggering height.
I hoped that after the recent violent rioting he would see sense and disagree, keeping his pre-election promises, but none prevailed. seeming almost blinded by power he shook off the shouts of 'Judus' from outside his window and carried on pushing the knife into the pockets of young adults. taking back what you say could be seen as weakness but in this case I'm sure many people would see it as a light in this darkness. If Clegg took back his agreement, sure it wouldn't just be that everyone loved him again. People will hate him but not as much as they hate him now. He could be know as the guy that held further education over the cliff, or the guy that threw further education into the murky waters never to be seen again for most un-rich hard working adolescents.
It seems to me that is so called 'coalition' government is just all the same now! Nick Clegg has become on of them, you can paint it anyway but its all just Tory in that place now. Its almost as if the government is part of a horror movie where of course David Cameron would be the psychotic deranged ring leader of the horrors and Clegg mealy a pet, a monster of Cameron's making. But this film wouldn't scare the young children in the audience but the young adults with empty pockets.
Its not just this stupidly pointless university fee's thing that's annoying me. Its the whole friggin' system! Its unjust and is making the rich richer and the poor poorer. The young adults we need to replace the people of an older generation are going to be in debt right after uni! Its your own doing if your sick and need a qualified doctor because there won't be any! and it serves you right for doing all of this. Your killing the country, bringing it to its knees and slicing its neck open. Letting its raging stream of cash flow into your open arms.
I hear now that EMA is being cut! why? tell me that! is the future generation that unimportant that your cutting survival off for them? We need that money! how are people doing collage courses going to earn money when they have no time for a job? Its not like they can ask for money from their parents who don't earn a thing but benefits! You say that you know what your doing is for the best, but your lying! How can you stand there in your posh houses with wads of cash piled high and tell me, you know what were going through! Your not the one who has to survive on on less than £90 a week. whats the answer? Starve to death? Oh yes if you don't eat for the next three years you might just be able to pay half of your uni fees. You know what! Fuck you! I'm not going to stand here and watch you kill us all! You know NOTHING! about the way most of your country live all you see is rich people and disposable lives! I may be be poor and you would probably say stupid as well but you know what! I can't be that stupid because I can see that your running this country into the ground!
Ohhh and that reminds me about this thing about school education changing. Are you serious? are you actually joking me? Giving kids one huge test instead of small ones is a fucking ridiculous idea! No one can learn all of the GCSE syllabus for one exam it's impossible! Its bad enough that the rules of the English GCSE has changed but this would kill you exam results once and for all. The reason your doing this is because GCSE results aren't up to scratch, you said. Do you really think that one massively long exam with all the work for two years crammed into it is going to give you better results than separate exams for separate sections of the syllabus? If your answer to that is yes then I recommend you go back to school and try that for your self.
This government makes me sick! I reckon most people could do a better job than you and most of those people would POOR PEOPLE! you know just because someone doesn't have that much money doesn't mean there not smart. I recommend you go see some of the people's lives your going to destroy before you take the final blow of upping fees, cutting EMA and totally obliterating education for future generations. You might just see that some of the people you have condemned actually would do well in life if you gave them a chance.
anyways I've wasted enough breath about this issue. Heed my words carefully or face the whole country's uproar. I definitely wouldn't be one of the people sticking up for you. if you make the bed then you lie in it. Finally Nick Clegg your not in control no matter what he told you, you have about as much power as a sheep in a wolf's mouth, I'm afraid its too late to save your self now, but please don't make us pay for your mistakes. David Cameron. In plain I hate you. I think your a vile, unpleasant man who needs to learn about the modern age. If I ever had the unfortunately to meet you, I just could not refrain from slapping your disgusting face. I would hope it might give you a bit of sense, as its clear you don't have any of that at the moment. As for the people who are fighting against the government I raise my hat to you, don't give up what your fighting for. Fight for yourselves, the ones to scared to fight, fight for every injustice that they will bring down upon us, and fight for the children that are yet to enter this unfair world and feel its fire burn them. we shall yet be pushed aside for them to clam our money and lives. stand tall and hate, and do what you will with your hatred. They deserve what they get!
Friday, 19 November 2010
Dead girl walking
I walked through the pitch black streets. Scared and alone. I wouldn't have minded if I had been with my friends still, but they had left me for the 10:30 bus home. I was left to wander the streets and wait in the cold for my taxi to come. There was heavy traffic to the city. The gruff voice of the cabbie had told me that I would be at least three quarts of an hour, till he would arrive in the car park.
The bitter cold winds of the city twisted around me and nipped at my skin. I shivered and pulled my jacket around me tighter. I sat on the freezing wooden body of the city square bench. Drunken cheers of the rabble in the bar seeped from the cracks in the bright red door. I hoped none of them came out the pub while I was here. I planed a quick escape in case I did find myself in that Position.
My eyes searched the buildings around me. A Gregg's was slowly shutting up for the night. The bars of the city alive with empty souls, drowning their troubles and sorrows in the bitter taste of alcohol. The high street shops filled with darkness now. Haunted by the memories of a busy day.
A sudden bang woke me from my daydream, five drunk men staggered out the door way of the pub. I gripped the cold bench, my finger nails digging into the wood. They won't look at me, They won't even notice me, I told myself. I kept my head down and avoided the blurry eyes of the drunk men. The sound of their slurred voices got louder and their footsteps began to advance on me. I opened my eyes wide and quickly wiped my phone out.
"Oh hey Mum, you're round the corner? Ah great! I'll just come round and see you now then." I said calmly into the unanswering phone. I got up and started walking away and out the corner of my eye I saw the men making their way in the other direction. When I was out of ear shot, I snapped my phone shut and shoved it in my pocket. My heart beat was racing, what if I hadn't though of that? I asked myself. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I did think of it and I'm fine, I reassures myself unconvincingly.
I turned the corner and passed two homeless people, I hid in the shadows and went past unnoticed. so many people on the city streets were dangerous at this time of night. The clock in the middle of town chimed eleven times. I would make my way to the car park now and if he wasn't there I could wait. It was cold and the car park was isolated, which worried me. If someone screamed there no one would hear. would anyone even care? and even if someone did hear they would mistake it for a drug crazed scream or an alcohol filled cry. I realised this was the stupidest Idea I had had in a long time! I should have got on the 10:40 train home. The though of another unsteady train journey through the darkness had put me off. I hated trains, I don't know what it was about them but they just put me on edge. Big metal beasts that crashed along electric rails was never an attractive way to travel in my eyes.
As I walked onto the darker back streets a shout from a group of chavs made my skin crawl. I shuddered. I didn't want to walk past them but what option did I have? there was no way I could go another way and I was so close to the car park now.
A middle aged woman walked out of a house in the street, and said goodbye to what I'm guessing was a friend. I could only catch the woman say she would be okay and bid farewell to the hidden woman in the doorway. She walked fast up the road keeping her head down and passed the chavs silently and unnoticed. I followed her lead and sped up so I was following close behind. I felt better with another person walking near me. The chavs didn't look twice at us and I couldn't help but smile. I was nearly at the car park and I had managed to get through everything.
The woman turned a corner. My heart sunk. The confidence I had gained from her almost guiding my way drifted from me and was lost in the wind. No! I cursed in my head as I carried straight on past the turning she had taken. I saw a pub with welcoming bright lights in the window another gang had claimed the steps of the pub. I turned my eyes to the ground and shivered again. I wished that the woman was still walking in front of me. I breathed slowly and silently walked past them. They completely ignored me and carried on with their pointless chatter. I allowed my self a small sigh of relief as I slowed my pace a little.
Suddenly a sharp pain rung through my body and I felt something warm run down my back in a waterfall. I cried out in pain and then lost all the air in my lungs. I felt the pain come in waves and suddenly something else dug into me in my side this time. I screamed in pain but I could find no air to force it out with. The pain twisted inside and brought me to my knees. It pushed deeper scrapping against my ribs and ripping apart my lungs. The thing left me and warm liquid ran in hot streams down my back.
The moral is never judge a book by its cover, and always suspect the unsuspected.
PandaPooh
xXx
The bitter cold winds of the city twisted around me and nipped at my skin. I shivered and pulled my jacket around me tighter. I sat on the freezing wooden body of the city square bench. Drunken cheers of the rabble in the bar seeped from the cracks in the bright red door. I hoped none of them came out the pub while I was here. I planed a quick escape in case I did find myself in that Position.
My eyes searched the buildings around me. A Gregg's was slowly shutting up for the night. The bars of the city alive with empty souls, drowning their troubles and sorrows in the bitter taste of alcohol. The high street shops filled with darkness now. Haunted by the memories of a busy day.
A sudden bang woke me from my daydream, five drunk men staggered out the door way of the pub. I gripped the cold bench, my finger nails digging into the wood. They won't look at me, They won't even notice me, I told myself. I kept my head down and avoided the blurry eyes of the drunk men. The sound of their slurred voices got louder and their footsteps began to advance on me. I opened my eyes wide and quickly wiped my phone out.
"Oh hey Mum, you're round the corner? Ah great! I'll just come round and see you now then." I said calmly into the unanswering phone. I got up and started walking away and out the corner of my eye I saw the men making their way in the other direction. When I was out of ear shot, I snapped my phone shut and shoved it in my pocket. My heart beat was racing, what if I hadn't though of that? I asked myself. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I did think of it and I'm fine, I reassures myself unconvincingly.
I turned the corner and passed two homeless people, I hid in the shadows and went past unnoticed. so many people on the city streets were dangerous at this time of night. The clock in the middle of town chimed eleven times. I would make my way to the car park now and if he wasn't there I could wait. It was cold and the car park was isolated, which worried me. If someone screamed there no one would hear. would anyone even care? and even if someone did hear they would mistake it for a drug crazed scream or an alcohol filled cry. I realised this was the stupidest Idea I had had in a long time! I should have got on the 10:40 train home. The though of another unsteady train journey through the darkness had put me off. I hated trains, I don't know what it was about them but they just put me on edge. Big metal beasts that crashed along electric rails was never an attractive way to travel in my eyes.
As I walked onto the darker back streets a shout from a group of chavs made my skin crawl. I shuddered. I didn't want to walk past them but what option did I have? there was no way I could go another way and I was so close to the car park now.
A middle aged woman walked out of a house in the street, and said goodbye to what I'm guessing was a friend. I could only catch the woman say she would be okay and bid farewell to the hidden woman in the doorway. She walked fast up the road keeping her head down and passed the chavs silently and unnoticed. I followed her lead and sped up so I was following close behind. I felt better with another person walking near me. The chavs didn't look twice at us and I couldn't help but smile. I was nearly at the car park and I had managed to get through everything.
The woman turned a corner. My heart sunk. The confidence I had gained from her almost guiding my way drifted from me and was lost in the wind. No! I cursed in my head as I carried straight on past the turning she had taken. I saw a pub with welcoming bright lights in the window another gang had claimed the steps of the pub. I turned my eyes to the ground and shivered again. I wished that the woman was still walking in front of me. I breathed slowly and silently walked past them. They completely ignored me and carried on with their pointless chatter. I allowed my self a small sigh of relief as I slowed my pace a little.
Suddenly a sharp pain rung through my body and I felt something warm run down my back in a waterfall. I cried out in pain and then lost all the air in my lungs. I felt the pain come in waves and suddenly something else dug into me in my side this time. I screamed in pain but I could find no air to force it out with. The pain twisted inside and brought me to my knees. It pushed deeper scrapping against my ribs and ripping apart my lungs. The thing left me and warm liquid ran in hot streams down my back.
The moral is never judge a book by its cover, and always suspect the unsuspected.
PandaPooh
xXx
Tuesday, 26 October 2010
Smile..
RUN!! Please run!' she screamed. she scratched at the walls till her fingers bleed. The girl in the middle of the room wouldn't listen, soon she would understand.
We stood united after death. We all looked the same, we had all suffered the same pain. The same pain which this girl would have to endure too. He had carved a smile into our faces. He wanted us to be happy when we died. Took our eyes so we couldn't see what he did to us. But we could feel it. They had tried to warn me. I didn't listen and look where that got me. I was hard not to feel sorry for that girl. As she walked out the room with him, she didn't know what we knew yet. He was the last to leave the room. The last thing he does is Look back at us, smiling. A smile that says, soon she'll be with you, soon she'll know. A smile that says 'I win'...
'I died here' He whispered.
'what?' A blond haired woman turned around in the passenger seat and stared at the little boy with shocked eyes. 'There in that field I died there' He said softly, a tear slipping down his pale face.
'No honey that can't be true,' she said glancing at her husband who gave her a worried look. 'You didn't die there because you're here with me and your daddy aren't you?' her warm voice tinted with concern.
His cold light blue eyes moved from the car window. 'You don't understand and I guess you never will,' he hissed through his teeth. Eyes filled with disgust and hate for her, he slowly looked out the window again. She looked at her husband again but this time he dropped his eyes. Silence filled the car. Screaming over the sound of the cars, speeding down the road near them.
'Right!' the young man in the drivers seat said. 'we had better get your case out the boot,' he said to his wife and got out the car, walking round to open the boot. The woman swept out the car. Her long golden hair lifting in the breeze. She pulled her jacket tighter around herself and went to her husband. 'What was he talking about?' she whispered, her breath becoming white smoke in the air. 'I don't know Vicky, probably just trying to spook us hahaa I'm sure he'll be fine, this your first time saying over at my house, just enjoy yourself. I think you need to smile more!' He chuckled taking her hand.
'But Mark! what if..' Vicky started.
'It will be fine. smile' He laughed and squeezed her hand. She smiled and squeezed back. Underneath the smile she was worried, and from the pit of her stomach she had a bad feeling about all of this.
'Do you big strong men want some lunch?' Vicky laughed.
'mmm sounds amazing honey,' Mark beamed kissing her as he came into the kitchen. Icy cold blue eyes watched them. Vicky looked into them guiltily.
She didn't feel right to be here with her husbands kid. She has never even meet his child before! She knew it sounded weird. Her and Mark had had a secret wedding. He didn't want to force a new Mum on to Toby his child, but had wanted to get married. It was weird, she didn't know why she had agreed to marry him with out seeing his kid first. She would like to think that she would still have married him but Toby had taken a very big dislike to Vicky and seemed to try everything to come between her and Mark.
'Toby?' she whispered quietly entering her room. 'what are you doing in here with the light off?' She flicked the switch on. She gasped with horror. The room was covered in blood written messages. 'LEAVE NOW' 'GO NOW....WHILE YOU STILL CAN' 'BEFORE ITS TOO LATE' 'RUN!' Vicky was terrified and dropped to the floor unconscious.
'Vicky? Vicky? are you okay?' Mark's voice swirled behind a cloudy face.
'what happened?' She murmured.
'oh Vicky, I came up here and you had passed out!' he cried. The memory of what she had seen before she had collapsed rushed to meet her. The smoke that had tainted her view cleared but the face was not that of Marks that she saw, it was a woman. Her eyes had been gouged out leaving black empty holes. Her mouth slit open at the sides. Her skin was stained in blood. 'ARRRGGHHHH!!!' Vicky screamed getting to her feet and backing against the wall. 'whats wrong,' the woman whispered with Mark's voice.
Vicky screamed again and closed her eyes tightly, sinking to the floor. She curled up into a ball and rocked herself. Hands over her eyes. 'Vicky! It's okay. Its me Vic's!' Mark comforted her. She slowly peered over the top of her sweating hands. She was meet by her husbands face. She gave a sigh of relief, bursting into tears and then collapsed into his arms. 'shh,' Mark whispered softly. 'Its okay now.' He gently rubbed her back, cuddling her tightly and softly kissing her head. 'its okay,' He repeated looking at Toby who half smiled back a him.
She didn't recall much of the events after that. She was scared and confused. Mark made her a hot cup of tea and cuddled her on the sofa. She must have fallen asleep with him. She couldn't remember drifting off but she must have done because she one minute she was next to her Husband then next she's running for her life in a nightmare.
she was on the sofa with Mark. Toby walked in and glared at her with hate filled eyes. 'Its time,' He whispered softly. The white walls of the room suddenly seemed to dance with a vile green colour. 'What?' Vicky said in a confused tone.
'Its time,' Toby repeated but this time a little louder. Vicky stared at him searching his face for answers. 'Its time!' Toby said even louder now.
'Stop it Toby, just stop it!' Vicky shouted at him, getting off the sofa clutching at her golden hair. 'Tell him to stop Mark!' She pleaded at Mark as Toby started chanting the words over ad over again.
Mark looked up into his wife's eyes. She drew back in horror. his mouth was twisted into a smile showing his pure white sharpened teeth. His eyes wide and fixed on her. He looked at her with a lustful hunger. 'But its time,' Mark sang letting the words slip off his tongue. Lingering in the air in the room. 'Its time,' Mark and Toby Began chanting, getting louder and louder.
Vicky backed away from the sofa. Switching her eyes between Mark and Toby. They weren't the people they were before. Their eyes had been swallowed up by darkness. All feeling and human emotion gone and just huge black holes in there place, that threatened to suck your soul dry. The were advancing getting closer and closer. She couldn't move she was too scared...
Vicky never woke up, then again was she even asleep in the first place. I don't expect you to know what was running through her mind when she was slaughtered. The main thing was, she thought she would fight back. She had imagined things like that happening and when ever she imagined them she always fought back. She knows now that when someones hand is caressed around her throat, or when her so called husband is feeding off her blood, its not like she had imagined it. When she looked into the eyes of death she couldn't run, shout, move, she was paralysed with fear. I would like to say that she died a painless death, but I can't. I could lie and say that she fought a good fight.
I could lie and say she didn't scream.
at least I can say she died with a smile on her face....
LittlePandaa
xXx
We stood united after death. We all looked the same, we had all suffered the same pain. The same pain which this girl would have to endure too. He had carved a smile into our faces. He wanted us to be happy when we died. Took our eyes so we couldn't see what he did to us. But we could feel it. They had tried to warn me. I didn't listen and look where that got me. I was hard not to feel sorry for that girl. As she walked out the room with him, she didn't know what we knew yet. He was the last to leave the room. The last thing he does is Look back at us, smiling. A smile that says, soon she'll be with you, soon she'll know. A smile that says 'I win'...
'I died here' He whispered.
'what?' A blond haired woman turned around in the passenger seat and stared at the little boy with shocked eyes. 'There in that field I died there' He said softly, a tear slipping down his pale face.
'No honey that can't be true,' she said glancing at her husband who gave her a worried look. 'You didn't die there because you're here with me and your daddy aren't you?' her warm voice tinted with concern.
His cold light blue eyes moved from the car window. 'You don't understand and I guess you never will,' he hissed through his teeth. Eyes filled with disgust and hate for her, he slowly looked out the window again. She looked at her husband again but this time he dropped his eyes. Silence filled the car. Screaming over the sound of the cars, speeding down the road near them.
'Right!' the young man in the drivers seat said. 'we had better get your case out the boot,' he said to his wife and got out the car, walking round to open the boot. The woman swept out the car. Her long golden hair lifting in the breeze. She pulled her jacket tighter around herself and went to her husband. 'What was he talking about?' she whispered, her breath becoming white smoke in the air. 'I don't know Vicky, probably just trying to spook us hahaa I'm sure he'll be fine, this your first time saying over at my house, just enjoy yourself. I think you need to smile more!' He chuckled taking her hand.
'But Mark! what if..' Vicky started.
'It will be fine. smile' He laughed and squeezed her hand. She smiled and squeezed back. Underneath the smile she was worried, and from the pit of her stomach she had a bad feeling about all of this.
'Do you big strong men want some lunch?' Vicky laughed.
'mmm sounds amazing honey,' Mark beamed kissing her as he came into the kitchen. Icy cold blue eyes watched them. Vicky looked into them guiltily.
She didn't feel right to be here with her husbands kid. She has never even meet his child before! She knew it sounded weird. Her and Mark had had a secret wedding. He didn't want to force a new Mum on to Toby his child, but had wanted to get married. It was weird, she didn't know why she had agreed to marry him with out seeing his kid first. She would like to think that she would still have married him but Toby had taken a very big dislike to Vicky and seemed to try everything to come between her and Mark.
'Toby?' she whispered quietly entering her room. 'what are you doing in here with the light off?' She flicked the switch on. She gasped with horror. The room was covered in blood written messages. 'LEAVE NOW' 'GO NOW....WHILE YOU STILL CAN' 'BEFORE ITS TOO LATE' 'RUN!' Vicky was terrified and dropped to the floor unconscious.
'Vicky? Vicky? are you okay?' Mark's voice swirled behind a cloudy face.
'what happened?' She murmured.
'oh Vicky, I came up here and you had passed out!' he cried. The memory of what she had seen before she had collapsed rushed to meet her. The smoke that had tainted her view cleared but the face was not that of Marks that she saw, it was a woman. Her eyes had been gouged out leaving black empty holes. Her mouth slit open at the sides. Her skin was stained in blood. 'ARRRGGHHHH!!!' Vicky screamed getting to her feet and backing against the wall. 'whats wrong,' the woman whispered with Mark's voice.
Vicky screamed again and closed her eyes tightly, sinking to the floor. She curled up into a ball and rocked herself. Hands over her eyes. 'Vicky! It's okay. Its me Vic's!' Mark comforted her. She slowly peered over the top of her sweating hands. She was meet by her husbands face. She gave a sigh of relief, bursting into tears and then collapsed into his arms. 'shh,' Mark whispered softly. 'Its okay now.' He gently rubbed her back, cuddling her tightly and softly kissing her head. 'its okay,' He repeated looking at Toby who half smiled back a him.
She didn't recall much of the events after that. She was scared and confused. Mark made her a hot cup of tea and cuddled her on the sofa. She must have fallen asleep with him. She couldn't remember drifting off but she must have done because she one minute she was next to her Husband then next she's running for her life in a nightmare.
she was on the sofa with Mark. Toby walked in and glared at her with hate filled eyes. 'Its time,' He whispered softly. The white walls of the room suddenly seemed to dance with a vile green colour. 'What?' Vicky said in a confused tone.
'Its time,' Toby repeated but this time a little louder. Vicky stared at him searching his face for answers. 'Its time!' Toby said even louder now.
'Stop it Toby, just stop it!' Vicky shouted at him, getting off the sofa clutching at her golden hair. 'Tell him to stop Mark!' She pleaded at Mark as Toby started chanting the words over ad over again.
Mark looked up into his wife's eyes. She drew back in horror. his mouth was twisted into a smile showing his pure white sharpened teeth. His eyes wide and fixed on her. He looked at her with a lustful hunger. 'But its time,' Mark sang letting the words slip off his tongue. Lingering in the air in the room. 'Its time,' Mark and Toby Began chanting, getting louder and louder.
Vicky backed away from the sofa. Switching her eyes between Mark and Toby. They weren't the people they were before. Their eyes had been swallowed up by darkness. All feeling and human emotion gone and just huge black holes in there place, that threatened to suck your soul dry. The were advancing getting closer and closer. She couldn't move she was too scared...
Vicky never woke up, then again was she even asleep in the first place. I don't expect you to know what was running through her mind when she was slaughtered. The main thing was, she thought she would fight back. She had imagined things like that happening and when ever she imagined them she always fought back. She knows now that when someones hand is caressed around her throat, or when her so called husband is feeding off her blood, its not like she had imagined it. When she looked into the eyes of death she couldn't run, shout, move, she was paralysed with fear. I would like to say that she died a painless death, but I can't. I could lie and say that she fought a good fight.
I could lie and say she didn't scream.
at least I can say she died with a smile on her face....
LittlePandaa
xXx
Monday, 18 October 2010
Humanity's Mistake
We all sit together and hide our pain
under masks that cloak our face
though prying eyes dare peek inside
to find the sins that we try to hide
I found my way with bleeding eyes
burnt by the the filth the world did rise
I can't bear to look at what has become
so we go blind ourselves with drugs and rum
We pray that death will find its way
before a knife may fast lay
inside our souls and make us bleed
as pitilessly cry for their own need
Wrapped up in ourselves, that's our mistake
so that we self indulge until we break
every ounce of respect that we once had
that now lays in the gutter, so very sad
I see that this world is not fit for me
and lower class people around me I see
So I will take my exit from this mixed up stage
until humanity starts over on a brand new page...
LittlePanda
xXx
under masks that cloak our face
though prying eyes dare peek inside
to find the sins that we try to hide
I found my way with bleeding eyes
burnt by the the filth the world did rise
I can't bear to look at what has become
so we go blind ourselves with drugs and rum
We pray that death will find its way
before a knife may fast lay
inside our souls and make us bleed
as pitilessly cry for their own need
Wrapped up in ourselves, that's our mistake
so that we self indulge until we break
every ounce of respect that we once had
that now lays in the gutter, so very sad
I see that this world is not fit for me
and lower class people around me I see
So I will take my exit from this mixed up stage
until humanity starts over on a brand new page...
LittlePanda
xXx
Saturday, 16 October 2010
Till death do us part..
"I promise I will always be with you,"... I remember that was the last thing he said. A whisper left in time not forgotten but slowly fading. I had to cling on to that moment. I promised him I would never let go and I wasn't about to let him down now. I would make sure we were together even if it meant doing what I feared most....
The phone vibrated shaking the table at the side of the bed. It woke me up from a deep sleep where I was happy and warm. As I sat up and reached for the phone the cold settled on my skin and the darkness scratched at my eyes, willing me to adjust to the dim early morning light that was seeping through the window. I looked at my phone the light blinding my sleeping eyes. 5:50am one new text I smiled as I pressed view feeling much more awake... 'Meet me in 15mins by the park :) xxxxxxx' The text read. I quickly texted back okay and rushed to get ready.
5 minutes passed, I sat on the bed with socks in hand. My mind was racing nearly as fast as my heart was beating. Shivers of excitement running through me. I sneaked out the house, trying with all my effort not to make a single sound that would disturb the sleeping inside of the house. The stairs whispered a creak as I softly treaded down them. The house seemed to know i was awake. Questioning why I was up so early. The answer, I could not find but soon I would know.
6:02am I was walking in the cold morning air now. The wind nipping at my clothes and hair. I pulled my jacket tighter around myself and walked on. Smiling.
I stood by the tree which we always meet at. Its brown skin seeming lighter than the other trees. The gloom of the sky hidden by its wide arms covered with leaves. Soft warm hands suddenly covered my eyes. I jumped slightly back to be met by a warm body that seemed to fit to my shape. "Guess who," A familiar male voice whispered softly in my ear, sending warm shivers down my body. "Oh I have no idea," I replied sarcastically beaming with a cheesy grin. I felt the body move around to in front of me. "Well..." The comforting voice started but before he finished his lips were gently pressed against mine. I felt my heart beat speed up. Slamming against my ribs.His hands moved from my eyes down to my waist, pulling me towards him. Our bodies fitted together hearts beating as one, singing in perfect harmony....
7am. We sat cuddled up together, our arms around each other. I could feel his warmth against me, oozing under my skin. We watched the sky in silence. The sun was just peeking above the land filling it with streaks of shocking pink, warm orange and deep blood reds. "Its beautiful," I whispered. I has intended to say it louder but the words slipped from me as I gazed at the shear wonder of the sight in front of me. "I know," He smiled, his eyes sparkling and shimmering in the light, even more beautiful that the sunrise itself. We kissed again.
7:39. We had moved to a different spot now. The park was getting the early rush of dog walkers with bright eyes set on keeping their pooch happy. We stood on the edge of dead end cliff. A huge drop into the freezing waters below made me uncomfortable to stand to close to the edge. "I don't like standing here," I laughed nervously.
"Oh scared of falling hu?" He chuckled
"No!" I lied crossing my arms but smiling. He grinned back at me. Suddenly he grabbed me and pretended to push me over the cliff but keeping a tight grip on me. I screamed, clinging on to him and laughing.
"April?" He purred stepping back from the edge of the cliff and gently pulling me with him. "yeah?" I asked looking into his beautiful diamond eyes. He smiled putting his hand on my cheek. "Promise you will be with me forever.. marry me April!" He exclaimed, diamond like eyes widening searching my eyes for an answer. "of course I will Tristan!" I cried throwing my arms around him. We stood swaying in the growing wind on top of the cliff.
I guess we should have seen it coming. But I will always blame myself for what happened next. I could have done something to stop it. If I've just tried harder to hold on. I promised I would never let go...
It happened fast. We were kissing eyes tightly shut and we must have swayed to far and suddenly there was a horrible cracking sound and next time I know I'm lying on the ground desperately clinging on to Tristan's hand, as he hangs struggling off the edge of the cliff. "I won't let go I promise Tristan! I'll never let go," I howled through the now suddenly violent wind. The wind tore at out flesh, stinging my already flooding eyes. I could see through my tears he was clutching my hand tears streaming down his face. I couldn't bear it. My arm screamed in agony, straining to hold his weight. "you can't hold on baby," Tristan whispered. "I can, I will hold on!" I screamed in desperation.
"let go April, you can't take the strain" He uttered quietly through a dry throat.
"No!" I shrieked in hysterics now... I saw his eyes die right then the hope faded from them and all that remained was pure fear and love. "let go" He repeated softly this time smiling through tears. "its okay baby, I promise I will always be with you," as he said this he let his grip on my hand loosen. My whole body was shaking now, numb from the wind. all my muscles were cying in pain and frustration. I gave one final effort to pull him up but I could barley lift my own body off the damp ground. I could feel my grip on him slip "I love you," I whispered as my hand gave way and let him go. As he fell the fear in his eyes drifted into the wind and as he soundlessly whispered back 'I love you too' love pooled into his eyes.
My hand out stretched towards him hoping some how he would just suddenly be there again. Our eyes locked and he smiled as his body body slammed against the water like a china doll. he disappeared under the black water. My eyes searched for anything to tell me he was still alive. Nothing. I was torn apart by grief. I could feel my body burning but I ignored it and stood against my body's will.
I said I would never let go and I wouldn't especially when he needed me the most now. I stared down into the dark pit of water. He could still be alive right? its been less than 30 seconds since he hit the water, A person can survive for 7 minutes without breathing. 7 Minutes before his heart stops beating and his body shuts down forever. I took a deep breath and jumped....
The wind rushing past me gave me company on the way down. I could almost feel it twist around my fingers as if holding my hand. I silently feel to my death I didn't scream like I expected myself to do. To tell the truth It was almost relaxing to be falling and leaving the world. The freezing water brought me back to life and made me breath for the first time since my feet left the ground.
The cold made my aching body scream even worse than before. I tried to look above the water for Tristan but the dark water seemed to have no depth. I took a huge gasp of air and swept under the water. A scared girl determined to follow her beloved anywhere even to a place where hearts beat no longer. The cold water bite into me ripping away at my flesh like a thousand freezing silver blades cutting into me.
Through the pain I kicked past it all and pushed myself on. I outstretched my arms feeling for anything as I couldn't see through the murky black waters. my hands scrabbled on rock as I came to the bottom. My muscles thanked God that this was a shallow part of the sea. I searched around, my lungs were now burning and weakening by the second. I whirled in circles scrambling along the sand and rock in blind panic. My Lungs started to cry out in anger demanding air. I swallowed down dry salver hoping that would make my lungs hold out. My fumbling hands fell upon a body, still slightly warm. I would have given a sigh of relief by I had no air left and my lungs were jolting inside me. I pulled the body up, found his mouth and pressed my lips against his and pushed the last of the air trapped in the depths of my lungs into his. I felt his hand move and clutch softly at me. I had nothing left inside me now. In a stupid panic I breathed opening my mouth and letting water gush into my lungs. I chocked on the water but hauled Tristan up on my shoulder and kicked hard. I had to get him out no matter what. I could see the faint light above the water. Even more water surged down my windpipe. I was two kicks away from the surface now. My lungs stopped trying, giving into the icy waters. everything stopped and I could feel the world slipping away from me. Darkness clouded the light of the surface. I was looking into the eyes of death and It wasn't painful as I had imagined it.
Through the darkness a light shone through. The brightest light I had ever seen. It blinded me as if burning through my eyes. "don't let go!" I heard a familiar male voice scream from above me. I tightened my grip and realised I was holding someones hand. The light suddenly rushed to meet me and I felt warm lips move from my mouth as I coughed and splutter up gallons of water. I opened my eyes and although everything was slightly blurry I could tell Tristan was leaning over me. His eyes wide with shock and panic. I swallowed and felt my throat burn. "April are you okay?" he wheezed trying to catch his breath. "I think so," I whispered through a dying voice. His face washed with relief and he dropped next to me on a rock by the side of the cliff. "what happened?" I asked panting as I slowly regained breath. "I fell and you came in after me," I turned my head to see him smiling at me. "but we never got out the water I let go," I said confused my head spinning slightly. "you gave me air April," He laughed "And when I felt you go limp in the water I had just enough energy and air to get us both to the surface,"
"oh.. That means you saved my life!" I beamed.
"I was just returning the favour honey" He laughed. I laughed too and squeezed his hand. He squeezed back.
"I love you Tristan," I whispered and cuddled up to his soaking wet body.
"I love you too April," He smiled and we both closed our eyes and left the cold behind, into the light we walked holding hands, together forever till death do us part.
PandaPooh
xXx
The phone vibrated shaking the table at the side of the bed. It woke me up from a deep sleep where I was happy and warm. As I sat up and reached for the phone the cold settled on my skin and the darkness scratched at my eyes, willing me to adjust to the dim early morning light that was seeping through the window. I looked at my phone the light blinding my sleeping eyes. 5:50am one new text I smiled as I pressed view feeling much more awake... 'Meet me in 15mins by the park :) xxxxxxx' The text read. I quickly texted back okay and rushed to get ready.
5 minutes passed, I sat on the bed with socks in hand. My mind was racing nearly as fast as my heart was beating. Shivers of excitement running through me. I sneaked out the house, trying with all my effort not to make a single sound that would disturb the sleeping inside of the house. The stairs whispered a creak as I softly treaded down them. The house seemed to know i was awake. Questioning why I was up so early. The answer, I could not find but soon I would know.
6:02am I was walking in the cold morning air now. The wind nipping at my clothes and hair. I pulled my jacket tighter around myself and walked on. Smiling.
I stood by the tree which we always meet at. Its brown skin seeming lighter than the other trees. The gloom of the sky hidden by its wide arms covered with leaves. Soft warm hands suddenly covered my eyes. I jumped slightly back to be met by a warm body that seemed to fit to my shape. "Guess who," A familiar male voice whispered softly in my ear, sending warm shivers down my body. "Oh I have no idea," I replied sarcastically beaming with a cheesy grin. I felt the body move around to in front of me. "Well..." The comforting voice started but before he finished his lips were gently pressed against mine. I felt my heart beat speed up. Slamming against my ribs.His hands moved from my eyes down to my waist, pulling me towards him. Our bodies fitted together hearts beating as one, singing in perfect harmony....
7am. We sat cuddled up together, our arms around each other. I could feel his warmth against me, oozing under my skin. We watched the sky in silence. The sun was just peeking above the land filling it with streaks of shocking pink, warm orange and deep blood reds. "Its beautiful," I whispered. I has intended to say it louder but the words slipped from me as I gazed at the shear wonder of the sight in front of me. "I know," He smiled, his eyes sparkling and shimmering in the light, even more beautiful that the sunrise itself. We kissed again.
7:39. We had moved to a different spot now. The park was getting the early rush of dog walkers with bright eyes set on keeping their pooch happy. We stood on the edge of dead end cliff. A huge drop into the freezing waters below made me uncomfortable to stand to close to the edge. "I don't like standing here," I laughed nervously.
"Oh scared of falling hu?" He chuckled
"No!" I lied crossing my arms but smiling. He grinned back at me. Suddenly he grabbed me and pretended to push me over the cliff but keeping a tight grip on me. I screamed, clinging on to him and laughing.
"April?" He purred stepping back from the edge of the cliff and gently pulling me with him. "yeah?" I asked looking into his beautiful diamond eyes. He smiled putting his hand on my cheek. "Promise you will be with me forever.. marry me April!" He exclaimed, diamond like eyes widening searching my eyes for an answer. "of course I will Tristan!" I cried throwing my arms around him. We stood swaying in the growing wind on top of the cliff.
I guess we should have seen it coming. But I will always blame myself for what happened next. I could have done something to stop it. If I've just tried harder to hold on. I promised I would never let go...
It happened fast. We were kissing eyes tightly shut and we must have swayed to far and suddenly there was a horrible cracking sound and next time I know I'm lying on the ground desperately clinging on to Tristan's hand, as he hangs struggling off the edge of the cliff. "I won't let go I promise Tristan! I'll never let go," I howled through the now suddenly violent wind. The wind tore at out flesh, stinging my already flooding eyes. I could see through my tears he was clutching my hand tears streaming down his face. I couldn't bear it. My arm screamed in agony, straining to hold his weight. "you can't hold on baby," Tristan whispered. "I can, I will hold on!" I screamed in desperation.
"let go April, you can't take the strain" He uttered quietly through a dry throat.
"No!" I shrieked in hysterics now... I saw his eyes die right then the hope faded from them and all that remained was pure fear and love. "let go" He repeated softly this time smiling through tears. "its okay baby, I promise I will always be with you," as he said this he let his grip on my hand loosen. My whole body was shaking now, numb from the wind. all my muscles were cying in pain and frustration. I gave one final effort to pull him up but I could barley lift my own body off the damp ground. I could feel my grip on him slip "I love you," I whispered as my hand gave way and let him go. As he fell the fear in his eyes drifted into the wind and as he soundlessly whispered back 'I love you too' love pooled into his eyes.
My hand out stretched towards him hoping some how he would just suddenly be there again. Our eyes locked and he smiled as his body body slammed against the water like a china doll. he disappeared under the black water. My eyes searched for anything to tell me he was still alive. Nothing. I was torn apart by grief. I could feel my body burning but I ignored it and stood against my body's will.
I said I would never let go and I wouldn't especially when he needed me the most now. I stared down into the dark pit of water. He could still be alive right? its been less than 30 seconds since he hit the water, A person can survive for 7 minutes without breathing. 7 Minutes before his heart stops beating and his body shuts down forever. I took a deep breath and jumped....
The wind rushing past me gave me company on the way down. I could almost feel it twist around my fingers as if holding my hand. I silently feel to my death I didn't scream like I expected myself to do. To tell the truth It was almost relaxing to be falling and leaving the world. The freezing water brought me back to life and made me breath for the first time since my feet left the ground.
The cold made my aching body scream even worse than before. I tried to look above the water for Tristan but the dark water seemed to have no depth. I took a huge gasp of air and swept under the water. A scared girl determined to follow her beloved anywhere even to a place where hearts beat no longer. The cold water bite into me ripping away at my flesh like a thousand freezing silver blades cutting into me.
Through the pain I kicked past it all and pushed myself on. I outstretched my arms feeling for anything as I couldn't see through the murky black waters. my hands scrabbled on rock as I came to the bottom. My muscles thanked God that this was a shallow part of the sea. I searched around, my lungs were now burning and weakening by the second. I whirled in circles scrambling along the sand and rock in blind panic. My Lungs started to cry out in anger demanding air. I swallowed down dry salver hoping that would make my lungs hold out. My fumbling hands fell upon a body, still slightly warm. I would have given a sigh of relief by I had no air left and my lungs were jolting inside me. I pulled the body up, found his mouth and pressed my lips against his and pushed the last of the air trapped in the depths of my lungs into his. I felt his hand move and clutch softly at me. I had nothing left inside me now. In a stupid panic I breathed opening my mouth and letting water gush into my lungs. I chocked on the water but hauled Tristan up on my shoulder and kicked hard. I had to get him out no matter what. I could see the faint light above the water. Even more water surged down my windpipe. I was two kicks away from the surface now. My lungs stopped trying, giving into the icy waters. everything stopped and I could feel the world slipping away from me. Darkness clouded the light of the surface. I was looking into the eyes of death and It wasn't painful as I had imagined it.
Through the darkness a light shone through. The brightest light I had ever seen. It blinded me as if burning through my eyes. "don't let go!" I heard a familiar male voice scream from above me. I tightened my grip and realised I was holding someones hand. The light suddenly rushed to meet me and I felt warm lips move from my mouth as I coughed and splutter up gallons of water. I opened my eyes and although everything was slightly blurry I could tell Tristan was leaning over me. His eyes wide with shock and panic. I swallowed and felt my throat burn. "April are you okay?" he wheezed trying to catch his breath. "I think so," I whispered through a dying voice. His face washed with relief and he dropped next to me on a rock by the side of the cliff. "what happened?" I asked panting as I slowly regained breath. "I fell and you came in after me," I turned my head to see him smiling at me. "but we never got out the water I let go," I said confused my head spinning slightly. "you gave me air April," He laughed "And when I felt you go limp in the water I had just enough energy and air to get us both to the surface,"
"oh.. That means you saved my life!" I beamed.
"I was just returning the favour honey" He laughed. I laughed too and squeezed his hand. He squeezed back.
"I love you Tristan," I whispered and cuddled up to his soaking wet body.
"I love you too April," He smiled and we both closed our eyes and left the cold behind, into the light we walked holding hands, together forever till death do us part.
PandaPooh
xXx
Friday, 8 October 2010
under a dying sky
The sky crashed down on to the streets filling then up with broken dreams and discarded human bodies. Memories faded with their eyes as the air swept from them and left them with only death to breath in. Under the shards of shattered sky you could hear the cries from the damned. That's what they named us because no one could save the damned, and no one could save us. Many screamed for help, a waste of air, clinging on to the hope someone would find them, help them, save them. It was useless. Pointless. I lay under the rubble thinking of how long It would take for the air to run out under here. When would I gasp for breath but no air would fill my lungs. I hoped that death would come quickly and silently. I just wanted to be free from this hell and it seemed the only way was to find an escape through death.
The world was hurting you could hear it. my face pressed against the ground I started to hear things I wouldn't have imagined. Moans and shudders from the earth. Sometimes I think it was crying. weeping into the night, silently but I could still hear its muffled sniffs and sobs. I never though of the world to be like a father or mother but really that's what it is. A distrot mother crying over her lost children. The world cried for those who were dead, those who denied that death was coming, the hopefuls and the dying. the world cried for me.
You have no real record of time under here. And you can't tell if its day or night as its always pitch black. At what I thought to be night sleep never came. the sky pressing down on me became painful and the agony of this drove me crazy. I couldn't move. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't kill my self. I was completely trapped with no escape. How I tried to move, just to move a finger but my muscles ached and would scream in protest at the mere thought of movement.
The world had become silent, I strained my ears for the faintest sound of sobbing but nothing. Not only that but the screams and moans from in the rubble had died. This could mean only three things. 1.they had finally realised that no help was coming 2.they had all lost their voices and could only mime the words now or 3.They had run out of air and now I was the only one left. I felt an anger inside of me hating the people that had so easily left this torture. Left me to sufferer alone. I cried....
I had never cried before and I never did again. It felt good to cry, letting the pain wash out of me as I felt the earth beneath me lap up my pain, anger and sorrow and it gently rocked me to sleep.
I could feel the warmth on my face like a thousand suns all glowing down on me. I had been so cold trapped under the sky, this is amazing. I let the warmth fill every part of me, taking it all in until all the heat was just about to burst through my skin cracking my bones open. This warmth grew to a steady heat and then to a burning fire and then to a raging furnace. The heat scratched at my skin tearing at my eyes. I could feel my skin dripping off my bones turning to liquid. The pain ran through my veins and swiped at my heart every time it passed by. It felt as if I was being torn apart from the inside out.
I remember thinking ,when I was little, about heaven. I use to wonder what it was like and how do you get there. I guess I though heaven would be a place in the sky with lots of fluffy clouds and halos and wings...but its not. I know how you get here too. I though that maybe you have to go through the sun to get here but you don't turns out you don't have to go that far...
I'm sitting on the sky now looking at my lifeless body. I look relaxed now lying there face against the earth eyes closed. Listening. I though the world was sobbing how wrong I was. I know the truth now. For I am one of the damned who wonders this place they call heaven. we all sit under the ground and cry. we cry for the living, those who deny that death is coming, the hopeful and the dying. And most of all we cry for you...
LittlePanda
xXx
The world was hurting you could hear it. my face pressed against the ground I started to hear things I wouldn't have imagined. Moans and shudders from the earth. Sometimes I think it was crying. weeping into the night, silently but I could still hear its muffled sniffs and sobs. I never though of the world to be like a father or mother but really that's what it is. A distrot mother crying over her lost children. The world cried for those who were dead, those who denied that death was coming, the hopefuls and the dying. the world cried for me.
You have no real record of time under here. And you can't tell if its day or night as its always pitch black. At what I thought to be night sleep never came. the sky pressing down on me became painful and the agony of this drove me crazy. I couldn't move. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't kill my self. I was completely trapped with no escape. How I tried to move, just to move a finger but my muscles ached and would scream in protest at the mere thought of movement.
The world had become silent, I strained my ears for the faintest sound of sobbing but nothing. Not only that but the screams and moans from in the rubble had died. This could mean only three things. 1.they had finally realised that no help was coming 2.they had all lost their voices and could only mime the words now or 3.They had run out of air and now I was the only one left. I felt an anger inside of me hating the people that had so easily left this torture. Left me to sufferer alone. I cried....
I had never cried before and I never did again. It felt good to cry, letting the pain wash out of me as I felt the earth beneath me lap up my pain, anger and sorrow and it gently rocked me to sleep.
I could feel the warmth on my face like a thousand suns all glowing down on me. I had been so cold trapped under the sky, this is amazing. I let the warmth fill every part of me, taking it all in until all the heat was just about to burst through my skin cracking my bones open. This warmth grew to a steady heat and then to a burning fire and then to a raging furnace. The heat scratched at my skin tearing at my eyes. I could feel my skin dripping off my bones turning to liquid. The pain ran through my veins and swiped at my heart every time it passed by. It felt as if I was being torn apart from the inside out.
I remember thinking ,when I was little, about heaven. I use to wonder what it was like and how do you get there. I guess I though heaven would be a place in the sky with lots of fluffy clouds and halos and wings...but its not. I know how you get here too. I though that maybe you have to go through the sun to get here but you don't turns out you don't have to go that far...
I'm sitting on the sky now looking at my lifeless body. I look relaxed now lying there face against the earth eyes closed. Listening. I though the world was sobbing how wrong I was. I know the truth now. For I am one of the damned who wonders this place they call heaven. we all sit under the ground and cry. we cry for the living, those who deny that death is coming, the hopeful and the dying. And most of all we cry for you...
LittlePanda
xXx
Saturday, 11 September 2010
because I wanted you to know...
My heart is beating twice as fast and my mind goes blank my fingers seem to dodge the right keys and mock me as the enter key is pressed by mistake
cheeks colored red and half smiles as you talk
and I want to tell you so much but I don't, I just can't
when life seems crap and the worlds crashing around me
you still make me smile and brighten up my day
when I talk to you its like the whole world is on my side for once
and I know that nothing is gonna upset me more than when you say you have go
I know that its kinnda stupid as I hardly know you at all but the fact that I can't help smiling when I talk to you is just one of the things that makes me sure I really like you
I think about you quite alot and that doen't help when I'm trying to figure out what 'XxX+bX+c=0' means
you treat me like no other guy has before and
you make me feel like like no one has before
I want to be with you so bad and it breaks my heart that its so hard to be with you
I don't really know why I like you so much
but I do
and when I talk to you nothing eles matters
Your the only one i would drop everything I'm doing for
I hate the fact you put your self down when your so perfect
I know that I'm not the best and we don't have alot in common but
I can't deny the way I feel and I think it can't be helped
and I just really want you to know that how ever you may feel
that I I just can't stand to be with out you
and
I think I love you...
LittlePanda
XxX
cheeks colored red and half smiles as you talk
and I want to tell you so much but I don't, I just can't
when life seems crap and the worlds crashing around me
you still make me smile and brighten up my day
when I talk to you its like the whole world is on my side for once
and I know that nothing is gonna upset me more than when you say you have go
I know that its kinnda stupid as I hardly know you at all but the fact that I can't help smiling when I talk to you is just one of the things that makes me sure I really like you
I think about you quite alot and that doen't help when I'm trying to figure out what 'XxX+bX+c=0' means
you treat me like no other guy has before and
you make me feel like like no one has before
I want to be with you so bad and it breaks my heart that its so hard to be with you
I don't really know why I like you so much
but I do
and when I talk to you nothing eles matters
Your the only one i would drop everything I'm doing for
I hate the fact you put your self down when your so perfect
I know that I'm not the best and we don't have alot in common but
I can't deny the way I feel and I think it can't be helped
and I just really want you to know that how ever you may feel
that I I just can't stand to be with out you
and
I think I love you...
LittlePanda
XxX
Friday, 3 September 2010
Dark Beauty
Night had fallen and the town had slipped into a deep silence only disturbed by the sound of a mouse scampering across the cold tarmac. A lone shadow stalked through the empty streets. Dressed in black leather. He moved so swiftly and quietly he kept the still in the air as he cut through it. He walked in the darkest part of the streets keeping out of sight.
The stranger crept like smoke up onto a high wall, laced with ivy. He waited in the moonlight watching the world with his piercing green eyes. Tensed, picking up every little sound. He was alert and ready to sprint quickly off into the darkness if need be.
Another shadow had found its way to the wall. This one different from the first. A female dressed in white fur that shimmered in the street lights glow. she moved with care, taking her time with her head held high. Like a bird she swept up the wall with out a sound and careful sat next to the first shadow.
The silence filled the space between them and seemed to mask the silhouettes in mystery. They sat in the moonlight captured in a moment of pure beauty. In one swift movement the shadows joined and created a picturesque scene of true romance. But as the darkness faded into light the shadows grew more aware of the world waking up.
Just as quietly as they came the shadows were gone and In there places sat two cats. One white and one black, tails crossed looking into one an other's bright green eyes.
Strange how darkness changes plain normal things into things of deep beauty and elegance... Like looking through half open eyes seeing only the good and casting aside the bad... If only we could see like that all the time
LittlePanda
xXx
The stranger crept like smoke up onto a high wall, laced with ivy. He waited in the moonlight watching the world with his piercing green eyes. Tensed, picking up every little sound. He was alert and ready to sprint quickly off into the darkness if need be.
Another shadow had found its way to the wall. This one different from the first. A female dressed in white fur that shimmered in the street lights glow. she moved with care, taking her time with her head held high. Like a bird she swept up the wall with out a sound and careful sat next to the first shadow.
The silence filled the space between them and seemed to mask the silhouettes in mystery. They sat in the moonlight captured in a moment of pure beauty. In one swift movement the shadows joined and created a picturesque scene of true romance. But as the darkness faded into light the shadows grew more aware of the world waking up.
Just as quietly as they came the shadows were gone and In there places sat two cats. One white and one black, tails crossed looking into one an other's bright green eyes.
Strange how darkness changes plain normal things into things of deep beauty and elegance... Like looking through half open eyes seeing only the good and casting aside the bad... If only we could see like that all the time
LittlePanda
xXx
Sunday, 29 August 2010
The letter of the burning heart..
I sat watching the flames eat in to the last of the memories
licking the feelings out of the pictures and places and setting them free
in a black cloud of smoke
The choking smell in the air had settled in my lungs
I only saw you as I sat there watching the flames
So easy to take life..
Life a strange word,
powerful to the eye but when you delve deeper into the word you see so much more
how delicate the balance is
to see it fall apart when a tiny little flame is is pushed alongside
I though hard about how to do this..
how it should happen.
I wanted you dead, wanted you to pay make you suffer like you made me
and then I remembered...
The look on your face when you though I would die
I wanted to see that look again
how I wanted you to look and cry knowing it was your fault
I though fire would be best..
I heard you choke on ash before the heat kills you
and I liked the way it hurt
because all the pain meant for one second I would have you back
You would be mine again
a life would be lost.. but out of the ashes something new would be made
And I laughed... my last moments in the flames I was laughing on black smoke
feeling it twist inside me and grip my heart.
Death was easy..
I stood and walked out
past the firemen on the stairs
and the screaming people outside
and stopped in front of you..
tear filed eyes as you gripped the letter I had wrote to you
'too late' I whispered in your ear, kissed your cheek and then
I was gone..
LittlePandaa
xXx
licking the feelings out of the pictures and places and setting them free
in a black cloud of smoke
The choking smell in the air had settled in my lungs
I only saw you as I sat there watching the flames
So easy to take life..
Life a strange word,
powerful to the eye but when you delve deeper into the word you see so much more
how delicate the balance is
to see it fall apart when a tiny little flame is is pushed alongside
I though hard about how to do this..
how it should happen.
I wanted you dead, wanted you to pay make you suffer like you made me
and then I remembered...
The look on your face when you though I would die
I wanted to see that look again
how I wanted you to look and cry knowing it was your fault
I though fire would be best..
I heard you choke on ash before the heat kills you
and I liked the way it hurt
because all the pain meant for one second I would have you back
You would be mine again
a life would be lost.. but out of the ashes something new would be made
And I laughed... my last moments in the flames I was laughing on black smoke
feeling it twist inside me and grip my heart.
Death was easy..
I stood and walked out
past the firemen on the stairs
and the screaming people outside
and stopped in front of you..
tear filed eyes as you gripped the letter I had wrote to you
'too late' I whispered in your ear, kissed your cheek and then
I was gone..
LittlePandaa
xXx
Thursday, 26 August 2010
Love after all.. never breaks (unlike my heart)
every time you ask me to do something I don't wanna do
It hurts me to do it,
but I still do it because I love you
When you don't talk to me,
your silence kills me
I would rather die than be ignored by you
The fact I don't know if I'm the only one
is there someone sitting with you right now,
holding you
Kissing you
and
laughing at me
You own me,
have the power to destroy me,
you think you always had that
but your wrong..
I gave it to you
like I gave you my heart
Not that that counts for anything
It scares me to think what will happen if we got caught
I doubt you would stand beside me
when I needed you the most
I want you tell me everything but you don't..
and I know that you never will...
we're just strangers looking at each other through glass eyes
broken heart touched by the invisible you
our love faded tracks in the dirt
memories on Cd's snapped, splintered and taped over
to hide the pain..
worn out pictures filled with lust
DVDs left to rot
you changed me
for the better?
better for who?
I long for you to be with me
although that's never gonna happen
and its about time I realised that
stop living a dream and open my eyes to the endless road ahead of me
You've broken my heart so many times
made me cry endless nights
hurt me in so many ways
abused me
used me
left me the scars to prove I'm yours
yet, I still love you,
and I always will...
So take your best shot
but I won't die in your harmless flames
If I die It will be because you broke the heart that I gave to you
and trusted you with
I wish you would look into my eyes and tell me its okay
take my shaking hands
and hold me until the demons leave
I can wish...
close my eyes and wish it all away
I have no fear anymore
it burned with everything that I didn't want
and left me here
loving you...
a ghost
maybe you won't understand
I doubt that you do
but know this if anything..
walk through the flames not around
don't look back to dark places you have been
carry on forward and bare the over rated life cycle
everything will make sense when the smoke clears
until then do what you wish
and wish what you want
you never know
you could get lucky
LittlePandaa
xXx
It hurts me to do it,
but I still do it because I love you
When you don't talk to me,
your silence kills me
I would rather die than be ignored by you
The fact I don't know if I'm the only one
is there someone sitting with you right now,
holding you
Kissing you
and
laughing at me
You own me,
have the power to destroy me,
you think you always had that
but your wrong..
I gave it to you
like I gave you my heart
Not that that counts for anything
It scares me to think what will happen if we got caught
I doubt you would stand beside me
when I needed you the most
I want you tell me everything but you don't..
and I know that you never will...
we're just strangers looking at each other through glass eyes
broken heart touched by the invisible you
our love faded tracks in the dirt
memories on Cd's snapped, splintered and taped over
to hide the pain..
worn out pictures filled with lust
DVDs left to rot
you changed me
for the better?
better for who?
I long for you to be with me
although that's never gonna happen
and its about time I realised that
stop living a dream and open my eyes to the endless road ahead of me
You've broken my heart so many times
made me cry endless nights
hurt me in so many ways
abused me
used me
left me the scars to prove I'm yours
yet, I still love you,
and I always will...
So take your best shot
but I won't die in your harmless flames
If I die It will be because you broke the heart that I gave to you
and trusted you with
I wish you would look into my eyes and tell me its okay
take my shaking hands
and hold me until the demons leave
I can wish...
close my eyes and wish it all away
I have no fear anymore
it burned with everything that I didn't want
and left me here
loving you...
a ghost
maybe you won't understand
I doubt that you do
but know this if anything..
walk through the flames not around
don't look back to dark places you have been
carry on forward and bare the over rated life cycle
everything will make sense when the smoke clears
until then do what you wish
and wish what you want
you never know
you could get lucky
LittlePandaa
xXx
Saturday, 14 August 2010
we share the same tears...
The mist swirled around the graves, leaving the scene heavy with gloom. The damned came to the calling of the gravestones deadly silent to the living. A lone man stood by a grave unafraid and not knowing. He had been driving to see his girlfriend when he suddenly changed course and decided to come here instead. He had ignored the black rusting gates slowly creek open without a human to push them. He had been blind to the slitted eyes watching from the shadows of the graveyard and the cracking of the earth as he stepped upon it.
He had been drawn to this grave and felt that he and the corpse, lying beneath the dirt, were somehow connected. He felt a tear slithered down his cheek and drip onto the damp ground, he wiped his cheek and found the tear had left a black stream down his face. He didn't understand...
'Why are you crying?' A small pale boy stood watching him. The man tried to speak but words slipped from him when he saw the boys face drip away leaving rotting flesh and bone. The man drew back in horror. 'What are you?' he cried looked at the boys arm the bone was snapped tearing the skin and reaching for air, dry blood caked the wound.
The boy took a step towards the man reaching out his skeleton like hand. 'Don't worry he picked you, your safe now.. you will always be safe,' the little boy smiled showing gray teeth stained with deep red blood. 'what do you mean?' The man asked. The little boy turned and slowly walked away. 'wait!' the man shouted.
'just look at the grave stone, you will find your answers there' his voice lingered as he disappeared into the dark mist.
The man stood letting the silence crowd him until he could take it no longer. He faced the grave and looked down upon the moss covered stone... 'find your anwsers' he repeated to himself. He went to his knees and lightly laid his hand on the stone feeling its cold emptiness fill him. He gently pushed the moss off the grave until a name was visible.He felt his heart lunge and his breath fail him. car headlights flashed before his eyes and the sound of metal hitting metal and bones snapping like matchsticks rung through his head....
The sharp slicing of water hitting him woke him from the darkness. He couldn't breath and everything was cloudy, shapes drifted above him like angles. He opened his mouth but water gushed inside and left him with no air. He panicked and started to trash about under the shapes, he reached up but his fingers only found more water. Something was pulling him down further and further away from the shapes and away from hope of the grave being wrong. He disappeared down into the depths of the water. He felt him self become weaker and weaker the deeper the got dragged. the water got colder and darker until darkness consumed everything including him.
'tell me he's okay, please tell me he's okay,' she pleaded. The wind blew her golden hair across her face as she saw the tears in his eyes 'I'm so sorry..' he started but lost his voice and with regret turned away from her. She stood alone. looking down on the scene like an angel. Tear stained face, streams of mascara flowed down her place skin. he was gone and so was her world. Her heart ached and longed for him back. She didn't know the corpse in the drivers seat of her boyfriends car... It looked like him but he wasn't there...she didn't know where he was.
A last tear slithered down her cheek and dripped down to the damp ground, leaving a black stream down her face...
LittlePandaa
xXx
He had been drawn to this grave and felt that he and the corpse, lying beneath the dirt, were somehow connected. He felt a tear slithered down his cheek and drip onto the damp ground, he wiped his cheek and found the tear had left a black stream down his face. He didn't understand...
'Why are you crying?' A small pale boy stood watching him. The man tried to speak but words slipped from him when he saw the boys face drip away leaving rotting flesh and bone. The man drew back in horror. 'What are you?' he cried looked at the boys arm the bone was snapped tearing the skin and reaching for air, dry blood caked the wound.
The boy took a step towards the man reaching out his skeleton like hand. 'Don't worry he picked you, your safe now.. you will always be safe,' the little boy smiled showing gray teeth stained with deep red blood. 'what do you mean?' The man asked. The little boy turned and slowly walked away. 'wait!' the man shouted.
'just look at the grave stone, you will find your answers there' his voice lingered as he disappeared into the dark mist.
The man stood letting the silence crowd him until he could take it no longer. He faced the grave and looked down upon the moss covered stone... 'find your anwsers' he repeated to himself. He went to his knees and lightly laid his hand on the stone feeling its cold emptiness fill him. He gently pushed the moss off the grave until a name was visible.He felt his heart lunge and his breath fail him. car headlights flashed before his eyes and the sound of metal hitting metal and bones snapping like matchsticks rung through his head....
The sharp slicing of water hitting him woke him from the darkness. He couldn't breath and everything was cloudy, shapes drifted above him like angles. He opened his mouth but water gushed inside and left him with no air. He panicked and started to trash about under the shapes, he reached up but his fingers only found more water. Something was pulling him down further and further away from the shapes and away from hope of the grave being wrong. He disappeared down into the depths of the water. He felt him self become weaker and weaker the deeper the got dragged. the water got colder and darker until darkness consumed everything including him.
'tell me he's okay, please tell me he's okay,' she pleaded. The wind blew her golden hair across her face as she saw the tears in his eyes 'I'm so sorry..' he started but lost his voice and with regret turned away from her. She stood alone. looking down on the scene like an angel. Tear stained face, streams of mascara flowed down her place skin. he was gone and so was her world. Her heart ached and longed for him back. She didn't know the corpse in the drivers seat of her boyfriends car... It looked like him but he wasn't there...she didn't know where he was.
A last tear slithered down her cheek and dripped down to the damp ground, leaving a black stream down her face...
LittlePandaa
xXx
Thursday, 12 August 2010
walking away is the best thing I can do
Its clear that you don't care about me, I'm fed of this game
I'm tied of giving you what you want.
you never cared about feelings or what you did to hurt me
I can wish but I know that I'm not wrong
what do you want me to say
I won't be a part of your games
I've played too long and I've got the scars
maybe I can't live without you
I sure as hell can't live with you
so I guess I have to walk away...
I've died so many times from what you've done and said
hidden everything and tried to run
but you always seem to find me and bring me back to life
then slaughter me when you don't get what you want
what do you want me to say
I won't be a part of your games
I've played too long and I've got the scars
maybe I can't live without you
I sure as hell can't live with you
so I guess I have to walk away...
what do you want me to say (I can't say it)
I won't be a part of your games (I just can't be)
I've played too long and I've got the scars
(what do you want me to saayy Ohh)
maybe I can't live without you (I can't)
I sure as hell can't live with you
so I have to walk away...
I'll just have to walk away
(EVEN WHEN I NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG) Oh no
so I have to walk away....
I'm tied of giving you what you want.
you never cared about feelings or what you did to hurt me
I can wish but I know that I'm not wrong
what do you want me to say
I won't be a part of your games
I've played too long and I've got the scars
maybe I can't live without you
I sure as hell can't live with you
so I guess I have to walk away...
I've died so many times from what you've done and said
hidden everything and tried to run
but you always seem to find me and bring me back to life
then slaughter me when you don't get what you want
what do you want me to say
I won't be a part of your games
I've played too long and I've got the scars
maybe I can't live without you
I sure as hell can't live with you
so I guess I have to walk away...
what do you want me to say (I can't say it)
I won't be a part of your games (I just can't be)
I've played too long and I've got the scars
(what do you want me to saayy Ohh)
maybe I can't live without you (I can't)
I sure as hell can't live with you
so I have to walk away...
I'll just have to walk away
(EVEN WHEN I NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG) Oh no
so I have to walk away....
Tuesday, 10 August 2010
but a chapter of the bigger picture...
I found that this life is hard, and unfair.
Theres always something pushing you down that's hard to bare.
I don't know what it is but when ever something good happens something bad overshadows it until the bad clams all.
I found shit happens and nothing you can do will stop it happening
the world will still turn no matter what state your in
even If your eyes bleed the world will not see it
and you will die in vain, don't worry about that
you can bitch about people and never know the truth
things happening behind closed doors
make you sweat and make even the person watching feel guilty
dirty pleasures, and back street love
with someone who looks good in dim light
this is life, slipping, crashing, burning
like betting on a horse race you just have to watch from the boundary's and hope you backed the right horse
the government will tell us we're all sain while hoping Order will remain
they pump our misguided lives with lies, trying to hide the cries
of the dying masses
we know the truth, the one they hide
one with no fake hope and rules to abide
criminals run wild with dreams for the broken land
raging fires sweeping through cities fanned
by the murderous thoughts sparking in there heads
and what does that make you
an outsider or worse
they know you and they watch your every move
freedom, that's not a word in there vocabulary
so what will you do,
wake up,work, eat, sleep repeat
the life they gave you too keep the world control
you think you won't be there slave
ha you can run but never escape them
all you do is controlled
how are you certain that they didn't make you run
are you really doing what what you want or what has been written for you
we will never know, but one thing you can know
is..
you will never be good enough for them
what has been written for you is erasable
no matter now you try they will choose your fate
for the bigger picture, you are noting
you are but a chapter in there book of life...
LittlePanda
xXx
Theres always something pushing you down that's hard to bare.
I don't know what it is but when ever something good happens something bad overshadows it until the bad clams all.
I found shit happens and nothing you can do will stop it happening
the world will still turn no matter what state your in
even If your eyes bleed the world will not see it
and you will die in vain, don't worry about that
you can bitch about people and never know the truth
things happening behind closed doors
make you sweat and make even the person watching feel guilty
dirty pleasures, and back street love
with someone who looks good in dim light
this is life, slipping, crashing, burning
like betting on a horse race you just have to watch from the boundary's and hope you backed the right horse
the government will tell us we're all sain while hoping Order will remain
they pump our misguided lives with lies, trying to hide the cries
of the dying masses
we know the truth, the one they hide
one with no fake hope and rules to abide
criminals run wild with dreams for the broken land
raging fires sweeping through cities fanned
by the murderous thoughts sparking in there heads
and what does that make you
an outsider or worse
they know you and they watch your every move
freedom, that's not a word in there vocabulary
so what will you do,
wake up,work, eat, sleep repeat
the life they gave you too keep the world control
you think you won't be there slave
ha you can run but never escape them
all you do is controlled
how are you certain that they didn't make you run
are you really doing what what you want or what has been written for you
we will never know, but one thing you can know
is..
you will never be good enough for them
what has been written for you is erasable
no matter now you try they will choose your fate
for the bigger picture, you are noting
you are but a chapter in there book of life...
LittlePanda
xXx
what I wake up too...
its 1pm and I've just woke up. I go down stairs and sit for a while. Mum walks in 'Did you sleep well?'
'Yeahh,' I reply tiredly.
'Ahh good, I'm glad you have caught up on some sleep,' she smiles
'ermm well actually I didn't catch up that much,' I look away regretting I had opened my mouth.
'How so? did you go to bed late or something?' she asks raising one eyebrow.
'hmm yes I went to bed at 6am...' I sit waiting for her OMG reply.
'God! what the hell, I bet you were on that stupid laptop, its bloody ridiculous, you can't stay up till times like that!' she shouts my Dad and tells him.... Great.
He gets mad and then stupidly says tonight when they go to bed the broadband is getting unplugged, he walks off mumbling stuff about me being stupid.
Right I'm not impressed at all, I don't get why parents think going to bed late is stupid! Just because they get tiered at like 7pm doesn't mean that teenagers do. And they have no idea what I was doing last night, for all they know I could have been writing up secret documents for the government! or stopping a friend from committing suicide... I wasn't but that's not the point!
Its not fair that an adult can stay up till whatever time they want but when one little panda wants too, oohh noo! you can't do that, even though you don't have to get up for anything tomorrow you have to go to bed god damn early! Its stupid and ageist! and I also reckon not letting a teenager stay up is an act of child abuse!
I'm so annoyed right now about this! Ooo and then Mum had the nerve to say when you go to bed that late this is why you get up at 1pm. 'NO! for your information I always get up at this sort of time regardless of what time I go to bed. I could go to bed at 7pm and get up at 2pm. I was just about to storm off upstairs but Dad walks in front of me and says in a nice happy voice 'do you want some dinner?!'
What!!! another thing I don't understand is that one minute he can be all in a stress with me and the next really casual and willing to make me dinner! I'm serious adults have some real bloody issues.
hmm well I'm fed up of parents bossing me around and controling all my actions, but they don't know what goes on behind closed doors! well I'm just gonna be glad when I get out of here and leave this hell hole. So I conclude that adults are weird things that need to think about there daughters feelings. Oh and If the broadband does for some reason get unplugged to night, ITS GETTING PLUGGED BACK IN!!!
over and out guuyysss
LittlePandaa
xXx
'Yeahh,' I reply tiredly.
'Ahh good, I'm glad you have caught up on some sleep,' she smiles
'ermm well actually I didn't catch up that much,' I look away regretting I had opened my mouth.
'How so? did you go to bed late or something?' she asks raising one eyebrow.
'hmm yes I went to bed at 6am...' I sit waiting for her OMG reply.
'God! what the hell, I bet you were on that stupid laptop, its bloody ridiculous, you can't stay up till times like that!' she shouts my Dad and tells him.... Great.
He gets mad and then stupidly says tonight when they go to bed the broadband is getting unplugged, he walks off mumbling stuff about me being stupid.
Right I'm not impressed at all, I don't get why parents think going to bed late is stupid! Just because they get tiered at like 7pm doesn't mean that teenagers do. And they have no idea what I was doing last night, for all they know I could have been writing up secret documents for the government! or stopping a friend from committing suicide... I wasn't but that's not the point!
Its not fair that an adult can stay up till whatever time they want but when one little panda wants too, oohh noo! you can't do that, even though you don't have to get up for anything tomorrow you have to go to bed god damn early! Its stupid and ageist! and I also reckon not letting a teenager stay up is an act of child abuse!
I'm so annoyed right now about this! Ooo and then Mum had the nerve to say when you go to bed that late this is why you get up at 1pm. 'NO! for your information I always get up at this sort of time regardless of what time I go to bed. I could go to bed at 7pm and get up at 2pm. I was just about to storm off upstairs but Dad walks in front of me and says in a nice happy voice 'do you want some dinner?!'
What!!! another thing I don't understand is that one minute he can be all in a stress with me and the next really casual and willing to make me dinner! I'm serious adults have some real bloody issues.
hmm well I'm fed up of parents bossing me around and controling all my actions, but they don't know what goes on behind closed doors! well I'm just gonna be glad when I get out of here and leave this hell hole. So I conclude that adults are weird things that need to think about there daughters feelings. Oh and If the broadband does for some reason get unplugged to night, ITS GETTING PLUGGED BACK IN!!!
over and out guuyysss
LittlePandaa
xXx
Monday, 9 August 2010
Welcome to my Little Blog!
Well as you can see I have a blog... Its not really that good, yet! I hope over time my little blog will grow and hopefully have at least one fan! I'm guessing I will most properly write about random things that no one cares about, and that the few number that will see it will be shocked and just die of boredom!
ermm I'm racking my little Panda brain for what to say! hahaa God I'm really not good at this! Ahh well this is just a welcome to everyone who has the time to waste to read my little blog. yes I welcome all Murderers, rapists, satanists, drug addicts, drinkers and smokers! you are all invited to share my blog with meee and I hope you enjoy my posts and not hate me after reading them!
but its now 10 past 2 am and I'm soooo sleepy so I'm gonna get a bit of shut eye while the world spins on...
Over and out!
LittlePanda
xXx
ermm I'm racking my little Panda brain for what to say! hahaa God I'm really not good at this! Ahh well this is just a welcome to everyone who has the time to waste to read my little blog. yes I welcome all Murderers, rapists, satanists, drug addicts, drinkers and smokers! you are all invited to share my blog with meee and I hope you enjoy my posts and not hate me after reading them!
but its now 10 past 2 am and I'm soooo sleepy so I'm gonna get a bit of shut eye while the world spins on...
Over and out!
LittlePanda
xXx
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